My chameleon, Leon (Scott Kennedy), was prescribed antibiotic injections this morning. This is his good side, from the waiting room at the vet clinic. His other eye is fucked up and infected, and I have to get the swelling to go down before the vet can tell if he can still see out of it or not. So, shots.
He needs ten shots total, which I have to give over the course of a month, once every third day. His medicine is also, conveniently, unstable and degrades after a week, so I can only get two doses at a time from the vet hospital. Every one of those counts as a new prescription, of course. Capitalism is the best.
Now, the good part - I was planning to go on vacation this Saturday. The pet sitter I had lined up is like most of the other people I’ve known, one of those people who likes my cuddly kitty-kittys enough to put up with all my other weird exotic things that give them nightmares. She gives Leon that look. I know that look because it’s the one I used to get when I was in high school. At least at that point in my life, I didn’t know it was because everyone was viewing me on the same level of desirability as a small bug-eyed lizard with two toes, or I probably would have even more self-esteem issues in the present.
Anyway, she’s already squicked out by him, so I imagine that if I suddenly foist, “I also need you to get over your phobia of scaly creatures in two days, well enough to comfortable holding my chameleon down to administer injections in his legs” on her, I’ll come home to some ugly pending-lawsuit-type situation where my pet sitter has stabbed herself with a reptile hypodermic and wants compensation for emotional duress and a tetanus booster. I’d like to avoid that.
Basically, I can’t go on vacation anymore because I have to stay here and shoot my lizard up with drugs. You have no idea how excited I was to announce my plans to go to the beach and sit inside and read a big pile of Tolstoy works with classical music on - but, everybody, I will be here this weekend and all of next week, like always. I know that comes as a huge relief to all of you and you have no idea what you would’ve done without me, but you don’t have to worry anymore. I am here, my children. Do not despair.